Grief is a complex topic to discuss, but recovering from grief often becomes far more difficult to understand. A key reason is that the recovery process requires comprehending grief, which most people struggle with. However, that’s not the only reason.
What makes grief recovery the most complicated is the difficulties with letting go. Letting go of our pasts, sadness, anger, and hurt is one of the most courageous acts you will commit, and you will have t commit it repeatedly.
I know it feels unfair, and I won’t tell you that it’s not. While I cannot stop this unfairness, I can explain how letting go helps you heal from your grief.
How Letting Go Helps Heal
Most people recommend moving on when we lose a loved one, an anticipated opportunity, or something we held dear. What they don’t do is explain why letting go or moving on is so significant for us to recover from our grief.
1. Gives Courage to Face Uncertain Futures
One of the reasons we fail to let go is that we are afraid of what the future will look like. The truth is that we often spend years trying to cut a clear path for our future. Our careers, partners, and future plans help us paint a clear picture and remove as many uncertainties as possible.
The problem occurs when things don’t happen according to our plans. Couples fall in love and get married, hoping to grow old together. They don’t anticipate one of them passing away at a relatively young age and are scared of considering a future different from what they had pictured.
This fear is partly to blame for failing to let go of their grief. Hence, letting go means you are finally embracing those uncertainties and facing your future.
2. You Gain Back Control over Your Emotions
Grief distorts emotions to a point where you will often feel like you have no control over them. While things may get better over time, nothing will improve until you are ready to let go.
Once you start letting go, various unambiguous feelings will start disappearing, and you will begin to understand yourself again.
3. Frees You from Cyclic Grief
Failing to move on has several repercussions, one of which is that it keeps you trapped in the vortex of grief. Grief is generally complex and difficult to overcome, but patience and work can help you start the recovery process.
The only problem is that if you fail to let go of some parts of your loss, you will end up returning to the same place and remain in this cyclic formation. In contrast, letting go frees your mind and body and enables you to heal.
Overall, letting go is as complex as grief, but it is necessary if you hope to face your future without regrets. I have had to take up the courage to let go several times in my life, and it never became any easier. You can learn more about my experiences by reading my books about grief and caregiving.